Let me finish speaking please…
Photo by Natasha Hall on Unsplash
I just read an article by best selling author and psychologist Adam Grant on how most men interrupt women when they are speaking. If you haven’t read it, you should take a look - https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2021/02/18/men-interrupt-women-tokyo-olympics/
This article details a study done on US Senators, who had demonstrated leadership roles, seniority and influence, spent more time on the senate floor, but only if they were a man. It also references an experiment that showed women are more afraid of being perceived as controlling when they do speak up.
This does happens frequently for women. Women are either told they are too aggressive when they speak up or are told they are not strategic when they don’t speak up. It can be a real challenge for women in the workplace.
This article really resonated with me because I have noticed this pattern of behavior in the workplace. I’m not calling out all men, but I would ask them to think about this behavior when they are in meetings. It seems to be even more noticeable now with Zoom meetings.
While we cannot control how people behave, we can control how we react to the behavior. Here are some suggestions for women on how they can handle dealing with this type of situation -
Ask for respectfulness - When you are making a presentation, ask up front for everyone to save questions for the end. When people interrupt the speaker, the meeting can go off the rails very quickly. Asking for respectfulness up front, allows for a smoother presentation and gives everyone a chance to hear what you have to say.
Ask to be heard - Ask interrupter to please wait until you finish speaking. Sometimes they will not listen, but try to be insistent in telling them to wait until you’re finished. At some point, they should get the hint.
Give feedback - I find giving feedback right away to the interrupter works. They don’t always realize what they are doing. Reminding them that it wasn’t respectful to you should stop the behavior from happening again.
Report poor behavior - If you find the same person continues to interrupt you in meetings even after you give feedback, it is time to report to your manger or theirs. The behavior may not change, but at least you have voiced your concern.
Organizations should not tolerate this behavior and should hold people accountable. They don’t always do this and many organizations expect people to just get along. That cannot happen if the behavior is allowed to continue.
Women need to speak up more when they see the behavior. Yes it can be scary with the risk of retaliation. If you are afraid to report poor behavior, speak to your manager or your organization’s HR or Employee Assistance Program.
This is just one of many challenges that women face in the workplace. Every time we speak up about these issues, we are not only making these challenges better for ourselves, but also making it better for the women of the future.
Here’s to your success!
Best,
Rene